When Foster Wallen Turns to Forever a Wallen

Adoption doesn’t happen in one moment. It happens in deadlines, court continuances, sleepless nights, phone calls that stop your heart, and the slow work of helping kids feel safe enough to be kids again.

We start with Grace’s private adoption, which went from “we just found out” to “she’s here” in about 30 days. That quick timeline still meant a home study, attorneys, references, and a whole lot of trust in the people helping us. It also became the doorway into foster care because we wanted our daughter to have siblings and a fuller family life. That choice led us straight into the foster-to-adopt reality: reunification plans, shifting goals, and learning how to do our job even when our emotions are all over the place.

From there we get into what it’s like when a child comes back into care with siblings, how trauma shows up in protective “big sister” behavior, and why keeping sibling bonds intact can take constant effort outside the system’s default routine. We also talk about guardians ad litem, what their role is supposed to be, and why it’s scary when someone with real power barely knows the case.

Then comes the long wait: permanent custody, moving houses for safety, agency turnover, COVID delays, endless paperwork, and the infamous child summary that sounds huge until you finally read it. We wrap with the courtroom day that makes it official, the celebration that made it real for our kids, and why “Forever Wallen” means more than a judge’s signature. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs a realistic foster care adoption story, and leave a review with your biggest question so we can follow up.

Transcript

Welcome And Why Adoption Matters

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hi, everybody. Welcome back. This is our next episode. We are going to be talking about adoption today. And after sitting down and realizing how much we have to talk about, this is probably going to be a couple episodes.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:18

The next few episodes. Partially because we've adopted six kids through foster care. And that in itself is a lot.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 0:25

Um, so you know, but that we have two separate adoptions with three and three, and they're like so different and things that were the same, things that were different. So we do have a lot to talk about as far as adoption. If you tuned in last week, we talked about biofamily some. Again, we would really love to do a follow-up episode on things we missed or forgot to talk about. So if there's something we did not cover or you have more questions about, please make sure that you reach out to us because we would like to answer those questions or have another episode. So this week we're gonna talk about adoption. Adoption is the greatest thing ever, but it's also the hardest thing in our in our experience, the longest road of of all of this. It became the most challenging.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Yes. And I also feel like we had three different adoptions and none of them were the same.

SPEAKER_02 1:30

No, no. So let's talk about that. So Grace is adopted. It was a private adoption. So and it was also a very quick adoption because her while the birth mother thought she was, you know, four or five months along, she was actually full term, just about.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

Yes. So because we found out and we We found out in May, and she was born in July.

SPEAKER_02 1:55

That's why so it was very quick, even though it was a private adoption, it had there were still things we had to do. You know, we still had to do a home study and hire a lawyer and have money and get references and uh all of those things. So to be able to do that in 30 days, we had one heck of a power team on our side, people helping us. I had talked to a lawyer, just kind of calling around to different places. And the day we found out we were like we were at the doctor's office June 13th, and that's when they said she's full term. And her due date was July 13th. And she wasn't, she ended up being born July 17th. So it we really did that 30 days. So you we had been um talking to different lawyers, but from that day on, I had called back to our lawyer and was we gotta do this, let's go. And they were so phenomenal in helping us get all the paperwork and all the things that we had to do. And it technically it was relatively easy. Yeah,

Grace’s Private Adoption In 30 Days

SPEAKER_02 3:05

for being an a quick 30 days, we made it happen.

SPEAKER_00 3:09

Well, then that's yeah, that's what I mean by so different. One, it was so quick, and it was so easy, even though all of the same legal paperwork had to be done, maybe a little bit different paperwork, you know, bio mom, biodet, all of that, and there's certain like timeline that you have to do with paperwork stuff, but it was so easy and quick, and they were phenomenal. Um, they ended up this is the same lore we've used for all three adoptions, but the day that we found out we were at the doctor's, I'm pretty sure they were the first phone call, and we're like, um, okay, this is going to happen, and we only have about 30 days to make it happen.

SPEAKER_02 3:52

And we did. And it was really I mean, we did everything. We did all the adoption stuff, the processes for that. We had a baby shower, we had a home study. I felt like, remember, that's the morning that I got so nervous that I got sick all over our carpet.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 4:08

You know, so we we did all the things and it was exciting and overwhelming, but also, you know, 20 day years later, not 20 years later. I mean, she's almost 19, but I still have those, I still can remember what we went through and how amazing it was to have the support that of everybody and everybody be in an agreement. So, in talking about that, that's kind of what led us. I think we've talked about this previously, but what led us into doing foster care. We wanted Grace to have siblings, or at least that experience of having siblings, whether they stay or not. Knowing what we know now, she ended up with having about 18 of them.

SPEAKER_01 4:52

Right. Right.

SPEAKER_02 4:54

Um so that was her adoption led us into doing foster care uh after a failed pregnancy. So now we're today, we want to talk about when foster care shifts to adoption. I know we've talked about Camilla's journey a little bit. She was placed with us when she was little. The day we met her, we thought that's gonna be our girl.

SPEAKER_00 5:21

Yeah, for sure, for sure. Yes, like just when you it was one of those, like when we when you know, you just know. And when we met her and we left, and I remember just thinking, like, this is our daughter. Now, granted, it did not go like we thought, right, but at the end of the day, I feel like it was God's plan, not our plan. Um, because you know, if it had gone the way that we wanted it to go, we wouldn't have ended up with our boys. So we had to go on God's timeline and not our timeline. Right. And which is really hard, and we didn't understand it, and we were frustrated and and you know, all those feelings. Um I don't know, I don't I don't know where my life would be without my boys. I mean, I love my girls to death. Um, like I just don't know. I don't know how our life would look with right.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

So she lived with us, she she ended up reunifying. And I've already decided we're gonna do a whole episode about reunification, but that's another day. But we had to do our job as foster parents, even though we had a million reasons why we thought this was a terrible idea. Because at the time we didn't know that mom was pregnant with Xander.

SPEAKER_01 6:45

Right.

SPEAKER_02 6:46

Um, so at that time we were none of nobody really knew, but we had to stick out the plan. We had to follow along. We had to put our trust in God and other people to make the right decisions for this little girl, even though we had millions of reasons to believe it wasn't the best idea. Speaking of people too, that we believe these decisions, something we haven't really talked about at all, and I it is guardian adlitums, adlitum. Guardians, G A L's is what we call them. We haven't really talked about them in any of our episodes, I don't think. Um, and I kind of want to just real quickly explain their role um and how bad they are at it.

SPEAKER_00 7:28

And uh for me, I okay, so their job is to be an outside opinion and to observe from the outside, you know, they're legal right, legal legal representation of the children. But right.

SPEAKER_02 7:49

They are the but I mean technically that is that is their technical job. They're the legal representation of the children. So the county has the county prosecutor, the bioparents get their court-appointed attorneys or whatever. Guardian of Lightnings are the legal representation of the children, since obviously they're minors and they can't speak for themselves in court. So the guardian of their job is to be the voice of the children in court. But but let's just say, okay, let me just say that in the 18 kids that we had, I can count on one hand how many guardians actually came into my home and and saw these children. I can count on even less fingers, since I'm only on one hand, how many knew anything about the case before they came into my home. I can tell you that there were times when I would look at this guardian and and they would say, tell me about so and so. And I looked at them and I said, No, you tell me what you know, because it would be mind-blowing to you to understand that how much they didn't know. Or they just thought they knew everything and then what they say was golden and that was it. They didn't need to know anything else about the kids. That was equally as frustrating.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

And also the amount of power their opinion or decision had towards the case blew my mind away.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:19

When one, you couldn't even tell me other than their name, anything about them, um, and or like their whole situation, um, the history of this case, maybe even previous case that these kids had been involved in, and none of them even showed up in court.

SPEAKER_02 9:44

No, they did go to court, but they would go to court with just after talking to the caseworker, maybe talking to me on the phone, I don't think ever really only a handful met the kids or came. So I wanted to backtrack for a second. I don't want to wrap GALs all in one big bubble. There were a few that really did put the effort in and really tried to understand the case, really tried to understand the kids and do what was best for them. Right. A few. So I don't want to make it that all GALs are this, but in our experience, if we were to compare

When Foster Care Turns Into Family

SPEAKER_02 10:20

them all, it's a negative experience.

SPEAKER_00 10:22

Well, and I feel like the fact that we've had 18 kids, and you can count on one hand how many GALs that we had interaction with. And honestly, out of those 18 kids, again, a few of them, the couple that we adopted, Camilla, Kylie, and Liv, were in care multiple times. So therefore there was another GAL involved. So it's just it just mind-blowing though that what their job title or their responsibility is and the fact that they're not involved that much, that they just go to court and they have this, they can make this decision based off of what.

SPEAKER_02 11:10

So that leads us to back to Camilla. She finding out that um she was back in care. So we've talked about how she was our first placement, she got reunified. Um we continued to do our thing. We continued to take kids and you know, continued to be foster parents. So we had a caseworker at our house and just nonchalantly mentioned by the way, Camilla is back in care. Talk about gut wrenching. I remember my heart like stopped, but um, and then continuing to let me know that she is back in care, but she's in another home because she came back with her brothers, two of them. And that's what made us not an option because at that time we lived in a small two-bedroom house. Um, and we've talked about that. We could only have girls, and these were boys. So they were placed in a different home at that time. They were Camilla was four, Xander was a year and a half, and Roman was five months old. And they were placed in a home clo locally. So I remember reaching out to the foster parents that had the kids because I had not, we had not heard from Camilla's family since she had gone back to reunify. And that was really difficult. We've talked about that, how hard it was to lose contact and not and to just wonder what is happening. So we didn't, we didn't know anything. So I took it, I took it upon me to find the foster parents online and start just to have a conversation, mostly because I wanted to make sure she was okay, obviously. And then to learn that she had brothers and there was more to the story. And we were invested. I've always been in had had since the day I met her, I we've said I was invested in this little girl and just um that you so that was kind of the driving force there. So as I got to know the foster parents and hear the situation, like I said, she was four and the boys were babies basically. They were having a lot of struggles with her parenting the boys because that's probably what happened with in their home and their, you know, their biological biohomes.

SPEAKER_00 13:41

Yeah, she was probably, you know, left to take care of care of them.

SPEAKER_02 13:46

And and she was very protective, very, even still to this day, she's very protective of them. So she would, they were struggling with behaviors, with her wanting to parent the boys, take care of the boys, because that's her role. She saw that as protection. That was her job. These were her baby brothers. You people are strangers, I'm their big sister. And so she was very dedicated to that position in caring for her brothers. And because of that, she wasn't a child. She didn't get to be a child. She didn't get to be a four-year-old. So to fast forward, after getting to know them and how things were going in the county, we all together decided to transition Camilla, just Camilla, to us. Because at that time we had Kylie and Olivia, which that's a whole that's next week. But we had Kylie and Olivia, so we could we had room for one more girl.

SPEAKER_00 14:44

Right.

Guardians Ad Litem And Their Power

SPEAKER_02 14:45

Because again, we were in that two-bedroom house, but we could put four little girls in that room. We had three.

SPEAKER_00 14:49

And I feel like once we found out that she was back in care, I mean, obviously the selfish part of us wanted her to come live with us. And you know, Kelly took it a little bit better than I did. I was pretty I I was I was mad to be frank. Like I was pretty upset. And I know that I talked about it previously, and that you know, the whole like changing what was required in order to let her go back, and then it how it changed and lessened in order to kind of move it along so they could get her back into right.

SPEAKER_02 15:31

It's that hindsight.

SPEAKER_00 15:32

Right.

SPEAKER_02 15:32

Like we almost wanted to say, told you, told you so this was not a good idea at that time.

SPEAKER_00 15:38

I heard that I said something along the lines of that, like how did that seem to work out by changing what was required? And like, so yes, after we talked to the the foster parents and then agreed with the county to let Camilla to come back, and we were also in the talks of moving based off of just some things that were going on with Kylie and Liv. So like we were like, Well, yeah, we could take a fourth one. We were possibly trying to figure something out to get a bigger house so that way we have a little bit more room. Um but yeah, she just and I even I feel like once she came to live with us after that, um, she struggled being away from her brothers.

SPEAKER_02 16:30

Oh, for sure. So that was that transition wasn't intense. It was a a struggle. You have to remember that she lived with us before.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

Right.

SPEAKER_02 16:40

So Grace, in her mind, she was the little two-year-old that left, three-year-old that left prior. So when she came back, that's not the case. There was a significant amount of more trauma.

SPEAKER_01 16:55

Right.

SPEAKER_02 16:55

She was a little bit older. Right. She's she wasn't a toddler. She's more of like a preschooler age. So she's a little more opinionated. She had a little bit more sass. You know, she had been through a lot more.

SPEAKER_01 17:06

Right.

SPEAKER_02 17:07

So coming back into our home, she wasn't, she was, she was different. She was not maybe broken, is the word I want to say, but I also feel like guilt for saying that. But she was a different person coming down.

SPEAKER_00 17:19

She wasn't the same, she wasn't the same little girl.

SPEAKER_02 17:22

She had been in foster care since she was nine months old. Right. So she didn't have, I mean, she had trauma, but she had been living with a foster family, right? So there was just you you could see, you could physically even see the changes in her and that she has been had been through it. So we bring her into our home, and we have, like I said, Grace, Kylie, and Olivia, and we learn to, you know, have these four little girls. That's kind of how we have pictures. If any of you follow us, you you'll see that there are times when we don't have uh Stella, for example, because that we'll get to that. But um, so we had multiple case workers at this point, um, just trying to figure out life, trying to figure out like facilitating visits so that she could see the boys because the parents, you know, they would go to visitation, but then they weren't showing up uh at visits, the parents. And so then the the kids weren't really getting that time together.

SPEAKER_01 18:25

Right.

SPEAKER_02 18:26

So we would try to facilitate visits. I know you took her to a birthday party or two as the boys were getting older, things like that.

SPEAKER_00 18:34

Um yeah, or we would meet at the park and just let them play for a couple hours.

SPEAKER_02 18:39

So we would try to keep maintain that relationship with them. Ultimately, there was just this constant back and forth over permanent custody. The to kind of put it in a timeline. Adoption, we were able to, we would be able to adopt once we knew PC was granted and we could figure out moving. Like that was we would we would figure that out. Um, but it took a year and a half for permanent custody to be granted in March of nine twenty nineteen. So they they came in January of twenty eighteen is when they came back into care.

SPEAKER_00 19:15

Right.

SPEAKER_02 19:15

And PC wasn't granted until March of 2019.

SPEAKER_00 19:18

Which by March of 2019, we had already moved. Yes. Um, which was June of like tw18. Um, and then you know, at that point, so then we still had Kylie and live, um, but we had moved uh a bigger house, three bedrooms at that point.

SPEAKER_02 19:42

Right. So at that point we moved the boys in in the fall, right, prior to PC.

SPEAKER_00 19:47

Right. But we had moved we had a bigger house. At that point, then the boys came um because we were building that relationship with the boys, and just when I say we were just getting to know them and just the conversations with the other family, uh, they agreed with us, like they let's keep try to keep these guys all together. Right.

SPEAKER_02 20:06

Um so we moved, and

Camilla Returns With Two Baby Brothers

SPEAKER_02 20:10

we moved actually due to Kylie and Olivia's case. It was a dangerous to be living where we were. Um, so we because we had to move for safety. At that point, Stella had been born, mom had Stella, and we're gonna talk about that next week. But so there was all these pieces and parts of our puzzle moving. We had moved because we had to get out of our town to for the safety of two of our kids. But now because we moved, we have a bigger house and we can bring on the boys because we at that point things were looking like that was gonna go to permanent custody and adoption. And, you know, we were planning to keep them together because we could. While once once we moved, then things, and we'll talk about this next week, things changed with Kylie and Olivia. A whole nother like roller coaster switch of um switching from we need you guys to move so you can adopt them because they can't live in this town to reunification. So so that's how again, that's how there's a period of time where it's the family of eight, all on party of eight, because we had Grace, Camilla, then we brought in Xander and Roman, and we also had Kylie and Olivia.

SPEAKER_00 21:23

So that's our We were we were on the mix of two roller coasters at the same time. They were two different rides, but they were very similar, and they both were constantly up and down. And I felt like that we one would be on an up and the other one was on a down.

SPEAKER_02 21:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

It would just bouncing us all around.

SPEAKER_02 21:45

Meanwhile, our train kept rolling, right? We had to keep being parents and foster parents because we you really just don't know what's gonna happen. We've talked about that. One day it's we need you to move so you can adopt them to just kidding, someone's coming. Up from Florida and they're gonna help take care of the children.

SPEAKER_00 22:03

Um so well and we'll get into it next week, and then the whole like these two can't be can't live with mom, but the newborn baby Yeah, we'll talk about that. I can wrap my head around it.

SPEAKER_02 22:22

There was just so much happening. So we file you know, like I said, we get the boys, we're all one big happy family, and then that's kind of when things just stop. So this was March of 2019.

SPEAKER_01 22:35

Right.

SPEAKER_02 22:35

Okay. And I don't think I need to say much. What happens in March of 2020?

SPEAKER_00 22:40

Well, and also we had moved again.

SPEAKER_02 22:44

Well, yeah, so we're right. So we lived that one year in that one little house with all of us, and that was fun. Well, then we ended up, you're right, we had to move again in June of in June. In June of 2019. Um so in this in this time, everything kind of just stalled. We didn't we learned that once the county has the kids where they know they're in a good place or safe, they just kind of stop. Once they're good, their attention goes elsewhere. So we literally had no visits from the agency, no information from the agency every time because technically we had other placements. So because that caseworker was visiting our house, we didn't have to have visitation for them because but I mean, the the caseworker that's coming, you know, to see the girls really doesn't have any information on Camilla and the boys, can't really answer any of my questions. But she sees the kids in the home, they're good. We don't need anything.

SPEAKER_00 23:43

It was kind of one of those, I feel like she was like, Yep, they seem to be healthy, they're clean, you know, like any doctor's appointments, anything for me, cool. Check off the boxes and we're good. So that was her involvement because they didn't have any information.

SPEAKER_02 23:58

So, yeah, so when I would check in with their caseworker, I'm just working on the paperwork, working on the paperwork. This went on forever. We moved in June of 2019. So we moved again.

SPEAKER_01 24:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 24:14

And adoption, we didn't have adoption until July of 2021, if that tells you anything. So, you know, two months, two and a half later from PC to adoption, right? Lived with us for three and a half years. It was intense, right? So then we I mean, we continued to do foster care through all this. We talked about a little bit of, you know, it's when we had we were still dealing with Kylie and them. And then we when we moved, then that's when they reunified in the middle of all this. Um so then we finally, finally get an adoption worker.

SPEAKER_01 24:46

Right.

SPEAKER_02 24:47

And oh wait, but then we had to get another one because that one quit the turnover in the children's services agency, big time.

SPEAKER_01 24:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:55

So we finally get an adoption worker, then just kidding, we get another adoption worker. Everything's taking forever. And like I said, this was now March of 2020.

SPEAKER_01 25:08

Right.

SPEAKER_02 25:08

And COVID hit.

SPEAKER_01 25:11

Right.

SPEAKER_00 25:12

And then if we thought everything was going slow, then everything basically I feel like there was absolutely nothing that changed or happened in 2020. Basically, basically.

SPEAKER_02 25:26

We continued to get placements and have placements and and foster parent, but as far as the adoption, let us talk about 2020 just real quick.

SPEAKER_00 25:37

Uh you know, we had at that point Grace, we had Camilla, which she would have been six, and then we had four toddlers, and then we had a baby. And then COVID. So then we couldn't go anywhere.

SPEAKER_02 26:02

I even called her my COVID baby.

SPEAKER_00 26:03

And so here we are with four toddlers and a baby.

SPEAKER_02 26:09

And COVID. I was a teacher, so school was shut down. Right. So I was at home homeschooling my children, which is why I will never homeschool my children.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

The dealership I worked at actually closed, well, partially closed down. We were only working like two or three days a week, and it was only maybe four to six hours at at most. So I went from working, you know, ten hours a day to four to six three times a week. Like insanity.

SPEAKER_02 26:39

Something we just weren't used to being together. Well, like, I mean, the whole world knows how this feeling is. Right. Well, anybody who lived during COVID knows.

SPEAKER_00 26:46

But also what I was getting at was the whole like, so we had four toddlers and we had a baby, and what was the first, I felt like the first thing that like ran out? Diablo.

SPEAKER_01 26:57

Toilet paper.

SPEAKER_00 26:58

Well, toilet toilet paper, yes. But then it diapers and formula.

SPEAKER_02 27:02

And I remember trying to figure that out of like, and I remember us finding bulk and just shipping it to a lot people reaching out, asking what we need, like literally rolls of toilet paper dropped off on the porch because you know they couldn't talk to us, but they could drop off a roll of toilet paper. That was it. I I mean we all lived that if you live during 2020 or you, you know, you were then you know where this is happening.

SPEAKER_00 27:29

But I just from our perspective, being a large family of kids and being fostered and like that was bananas. Bananas.

SPEAKER_02 27:39

Bananas.

SPEAKER_00 27:40

So, anyways.

SPEAKER_02 27:42

Yeah, so fast forward through COVID, we're finally getting ready for the adoption um in 2021, the spring of 2021. We are still waiting, like well, so yeah, so we began the adoption process and it's basically a home study all over again. We've got to do paperwork, paperwork, paperwork. We've got to have doctor's appointments, background checks, references.

SPEAKER_00 28:06

School, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:08

Paperwork. Did I say paperwork?

SPEAKER_00 28:10

Paperwork. We have to wait on this child summary.

SPEAKER_02 28:14

Yeah, the one the one thing that was left to get is this child summary. This is what had been being worked on all these years. You know, this is what we were

Permanent Custody Delays And Moving Houses

SPEAKER_02 28:25

waiting on. I'm still working on the summary. I'm still working on this summary.

SPEAKER_00 28:27

Evidently, it can only be done by the adoptive social worker.

SPEAKER_02 28:32

Uh no, it was done by the um case worker.

SPEAKER_00 28:36

Oh, that's right. And she had to give it to the social worker.

SPEAKER_02 28:39

She had to get it done. It had to go to her supervisor. Any revisions had to be made. Like this, I I had never had. We had never gotten that. So in my in my eyes or my thinking, this was gonna be a big deal. It was gonna lay out the my children's life on paper. And then we get it, and we get it, and there are so many unknown, unknown.

SPEAKER_01 29:05

Right.

SPEAKER_02 29:06

Completed by the foster parent. This information is unknown. Bioparents did not submit this information, even though they were asked. And I was just I laugh now because I was ready to get some really like I was gonna we were gonna know everything there was to know about these kids and their families and their biological families. Some kind of family tree and like and all of the I mean some of that information is in there, but it just was I I laugh now because we it did not meet what I thought it was going to be.

SPEAKER_00 29:37

Well, and I thought it was because it took so long, it was and it had to be reviewed by management. Like, so you have this like in your mind, like, oh, this must be something really important. And honestly, I felt like it was a cliff notes of their case or case.

SPEAKER_02 29:56

I I don't remember there being anything I didn't already know. Right, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 29:59

And honestly, what we know now about our our our kids, our three kids, right? We know more now, and that's because we've we're we're just in touch with the biofam.

SPEAKER_02 30:12

I was gonna say, because we I don't even need to go to that if I have a question about medical history, because well, one, it's not in there. No, and two, I can just ask. Right.

SPEAKER_00 30:21

We can just ask both sides of their biofamilies. So we can just ask, you know, is this a you know, an issue with your medical? Yeah, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 30:31

So we get the we get the child's summary, we've got our lawyer, we we're doing the thing, you know, we then we have to do what's called subsidy negotiations. So when you adopt special needs or adopt through foster care, and because we were adopting siblings, they were automatically at this time, they were automatically considered special needs. So um, you have to go through what's called subsidy negotiations. And basically, and it really stinks, and there are so many better ways that this could be done, and we will talk about that because the experience with Camilla, Roman, and Xander compared to the experience with Kylie, Olivia, and Stella is literally night and day.

SPEAKER_01 31:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 31:14

Night and day. And we will talk about that. It still burns, it still stings a little to think about. But at that time, so at this time when we did this with Camilla and Roman and Xander, it was actually pretty simple. Oh, she came in, I said, Well, I think that we've been taking care of them all these years at this amount, and it seems to be working. She said, Okay, and that was it.

SPEAKER_00 31:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:39

I I'll I'll uh And I'll remind you, we have said it, you know, we're not getting rich. We're not getting we're getting like 20 bucks a day, right? So like it's not it, it wasn't asking for much to continue to receive what we were getting at that time. And it was great, okay.

SPEAKER_00 31:56

It was easy. I'll send over a piece, I'll send it, I'll mail it to you, you guys sign it, send it back to me. And then that's it.

SPEAKER_02 32:02

Like and so then from there it was more waiting, more waiting, more paperwork, um, just getting our lawyer stuff done, just kind of like dotting our eyes, crossing our T's, these kinds of things. So then we finally get a court date. But again, uh this was when things were starting to open back up. We had we still had the option of doing everything online because of COVID, but they were starting to let show hearings happen in the courthouse.

SPEAKER_00 32:32

I feel like that there was like they were limited. And so I remember like having that conversation with there were only a certain number of people that could well in the social worker also there was certain only so many cases they could do in court. So if not, then you would be selected. And adoptions were only a certain day of the week.

SPEAKER_02 32:54

They only did them at that time, they only did them one day a month, the first Thursday of every month. And by the time we did it to Kylie and then there were two a month, but still, yeah, one Thursday a month. Um, they do finally say we can do this in person, but you have to have a there's only a limited number of people, and I had to submit a list of the people that were allowed to be in our adoption. So that was exciting. Um, I got super excited that we had finally this, you know, adoption became this imaginary thing. Like we had been talking about it, especially because the kids were little. You know, this is 2021, Xander is five. So they're little. And adoption was like this like magical thing that was gonna happen, but we really don't really know what that means at this point. So the knowing that we were able then to go to the courthouse, the kids now have a like a place in their mind. They can see this is where it's gonna be, you know. So we were really trying to make it an exciting and happy thing. So we had matching shirts and matching vans and shoes. Um we hired a photographer. Photo. And so we, you know, we we had a day of it. We made a really, yeah, it was just a wonderful day. She we we went early and we walked around the courthouse and got some really great pictures, and the family came and we got family pictures, and it was just a super fun. This finally, like we were just so happy.

SPEAKER_00 34:27

Yeah, we finally had made it to this point, but I really feel like the kids felt like it was never going to happen. It did.

SPEAKER_02 34:35

Like it was That's what I said, it was this thing that just like magical process that we really don't know what it means. It's not have gonna happen. But then it does. It's finally that day. The actual adoption, after you go through security and get into the courthouse and you wait your turn, you walk in, it's very quick. Very, very quick. You know, that part, you just have to um go through all the legal processes. Yep, we want to adopt these kids. Yes, we want to be adopted. Yes, the agency thinks they should adopt these kids. Yes, the guardian ed lightum thinks they should adopt these kids. Okay, you can adopt these kids. Yay, hit the thing. Let the kids hit the right the judges.

SPEAKER_00 35:15

Yeah, the judge talked to the kids real quickly, and then it was all right, then we just needed to sign and we were legal beagle. Our lawyers were there.

SPEAKER_02 35:25

Then we do more pictures, more pictures, more pictures, wait for the paperwork. We finally get the paperwork from the court, and it's done. That day, it's done. So I I remember we left and we went, and this was July 1st. So we we went and we celebrated.

COVID Stalls Everything While Life Explodes

SPEAKER_02 35:40

We went to a Japanese steakhouse and it was a lot of fun. And so, like we have pictures, like the memories could go on and on and on about how great that day was. Um, and then we're decided that we were gonna have an adoption party. We had been planning it. So we after the adoption that week following weekend, we had a big adoption party, and our theme was Fiesta Forever. Um, and so we had a Mexican fiesta and it was so much fun. And I love throwing parties. Love, love, love it. Obsessed um obsessed.

SPEAKER_00 36:18

Yes, I do obsess over if you've ever been to one of Kelly's parties, they're parties, like they're big. Um and so we'll go I'll go back to our very first episode when I talked about um Kelly throwing a birthday party for Camilla, and I was like, well, why are we doing such a big ordeal? And she said this may be the only party they get as far as a birthday party. So, you know, from there I didn't say much. So I could if you could only imagine if you wasn't there, what this party was. It was a big deal. And I had a reason for it to be a big deal. This was eight and a half years of us talking about it, and then that we were finally there. So we were super excited. The kids were super excited. We had a blow-up holler came about the kids.

SPEAKER_02 37:17

We had yummy Mexican taco food and adorable little cookies. We even got chips and salsa from our favorite Mexican restaurant at the time, which was Tequila Vill.

SPEAKER_00 37:30

I ordered chips and salsa and she ordered like I filled the whole inside of my truck up. I kept carrying out giant bags of chips and like tubs of salsa.

SPEAKER_02 37:41

But hey, it made for that summer. We had chips and salsa.

SPEAKER_00 37:46

We had their chips and salsa for weeks, and it was delicious. And we still go to that restaurant and we still love it. And you know, it's one of those restaurants that our kids special. Right.

SPEAKER_02 37:59

It's special to them because they know that that was at their adoption party and they love that, and it's the place like we so Mexican food is the one place, is that what you're gonna say that we could go, we can take all of our kids to a Mexican restaurant and we know they're gonna eat something. So it was just a really fun time. And um, maybe I'll make up like a slideshow that I can share on our Facebook. Oh, yeah, because that it was a whole lot of fun. I really did have a good time. Um, so you know, it's done. Now there is a tiny just that like breath of fresh air release, like we did it.

SPEAKER_00 38:39

Which I feel like that would have been that week, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. But then Monday, but Sunday a little bit. Let's clean up all of this chips and salsa.

SPEAKER_02 38:52

And it goes. But then like back to back to work because we still had foster kids. We still were doing the foster parent life, you know. So it was a very quick lived celebration. Um life didn't change a whole lot because they had already been living with us for so long. So that that part of it isn't a a big change.

SPEAKER_00 39:16

I feel like what was exciting was them knowing that their names had changed. Um, and they were going into the new school year with their name. Like it was that like it was final. They knew that it was final. Yep. There is no turning back. This is this is this is where you're going to be.

SPEAKER_02 39:38

Cause like the boys, we were already calling them Xander and Roman, but all of their official paperwork, like school preschool paperwork, had their real names.

SPEAKER_00 39:45

And so that whole confusion that's like we didn't really talk much about that, but we did change the boys' names.

SPEAKER_02 39:51

We started calling them by their new names when they moved in with us just to kind of because they were little, it was easy to do at that point. Um we'll talk about that another that part another time. Uh, I think. I feel like we should just have a I don't know. I think we've covered a lot of their stories throughout these episodes.

Child Summaries Subsidies And Endless Forms

SPEAKER_02 40:10

I feel like this is long enough for this week, right? Because we said we were gonna do a part two. Um yeah, so because part two, we're going to next week, we're gonna talk about the girls' adoption, Kylie, Olivia, and Stella's adoption and and how we're gonna kind of compare it to how this adoption went in 2021 versus the adoption in 2025.

SPEAKER_00 40:33

And I feel like what was now in hindsight, also, which is really cool about work on, you know, we're gonna talk about Kylie and Liv and Stella's um their story with us, but Camilla and Kylie, their stories are very like are intertwined. Um, because Kylie was with us.

SPEAKER_02 40:55

We have two cases of reunification and then re-engine.

SPEAKER_00 40:58

And they're so they're both their cases are very similar and but yet they're intertwined because they they they've practically grown up together, you know. Camilla, obviously we had her and she went back before we got Kylie, but Kylie No. Yes, yes, the first time. The first time the first time, but like you know, Kylie was five years old when she came into care, and so and then at that point, then Camilla.

SPEAKER_02 41:26

Kylie had a first time by herself, not with her.

SPEAKER_00 41:29

But like, so they've practically, you know, we talked about them being siblings, but they really have grown up together. Same with um, you know, Liv and Xander and Roman and then Stella. Like all of our kids, like they, you know, at the time we didn't know what was going on, and but they were still brothers and sisters and and they grew up together.

SPEAKER_02 41:52

And so And like you said, we it was not our timing.

SPEAKER_00 41:57

Right.

SPEAKER_02 41:57

Our timeline did not fit God's timeline. But ultimately, in the end, we're the Wallens.

unknown 42:03

Right.

SPEAKER_00 42:04

Well that's what I was gonna say. It was like that that it was crazy how now looking at it, that they were able to grow up and be together majority of their life or most of their life, and then they end up all being adopted and staying with us, and their brothers and sisters are who they grew up with.

SPEAKER_02 42:22

Like And they don't get to meet people in the world that have a story like theirs. And and I think that what's really I don't want to call it great, but uh one positive thing is that they have each other, they understand what their life has been like.

SPEAKER_01 42:42

Right.

SPEAKER_02 42:43

They can they can rely on each other, they can turn to each other, they can, you know, that we've like you said, they've even though they're not blood related, they've been together for so many years. And yeah, that's that that bond of yes, we've been through this life, we're all you know, we always say that our family is like a big bowl of vegetable soup. Right, right. Different pizzas and parts, but together we're delicious. Right.

SPEAKER_00 43:08

You're just we're just winging it.

Adoption Day Fiesta Forever And What Changes

SPEAKER_00 43:10

And it it's it's great that they have that bond and you know, and they truly do. Um, I feel like our our kids are really yes, they may fight and bicker, but I don't be that person that comes in and comes out at one of my kids because all of them will be on you like like you regret it. Like they stick together. They they are thick as thieves.

SPEAKER_02 43:36

So Camilla, Roman, and Xander after give or take, 1500 days. They went from coming into foster care to being adopted, to being Forever Wallen. And that's that that's our slogan. Hashtag forever a wallen. So it it's fun to be part of Team Wallen. Next week, again, like I said, we're gonna do part two. We'll talk about the girls' adoption and how they compare, and then we'll see where we go from there. We're kind of veering off our original plan. Um just to kind of because our story is not like anybody else's. No, it has to be our story.

SPEAKER_00 44:17

And I feel like that this episode and our next episode is really the the the meat and potatoes of our story um of foster care and adopting and you know the those two stories are what got us to where we are now. So I we yeah, so we just wanted to share that um and kind of you know, know where we came from and where we're gonna go.

SPEAKER_02 44:44

Thanks for listening, guys. Thanks for tuning in. I hope that you're still enjoying our podcast. We hope that again, if you have questions or you need to know more about it, let us know. Until next week, we're the Wallins. Thanks for tuning in.